
I especially enjoy this time of year as I find myself sitting on the couch—doing absolutely nothing productive—while glued to two-star rated Christmas Lifetime movies. Now these movies are basically all the same no matter what their setting or their intended plot. There’s almost always a female main character who has engrossed herself in her work, at the expense of her romantic relationships, and sometimes even at the expense of her children or her extended family.
The movie begins by showing how overworked this woman has become, and with Christmas approaching, the rest of her co-workers are considering taking some time off to spend with family and friends, but she has no such intentions. The method in which it happens is different in every Lifetime movie, but ultimately, the woman finds herself heading back home to spend time with her family. During this 90 minutes process—120 minutes including commercial breaks—our main character learns the true meaning of life, falls in love, and in most of the cases, she leaves her job and lives happily ever after.
While I don’t believe that life works this way, I do believe that there is something that we are supposed to be learning from these Lifetime movies. No, it’s not that a two-week vacation back home for the holidays will resolve the drought in your love life. And no, it’s not that the answer to solving all of the problems in your life is to just move back home, fall in love, and quit your job as if you never loved the job in the first place. It’s not any of those. Instead, it’s that all of these women have to take time away from their job, spend time with family and possibly fall in love to learn what the true meaning of life is. And that to me is sad that we let ourselves get to that point.
In my most recent mind-numbing experience with a Christmas Lifetime movie, the main character worked tremendous hours trying to provide for her son because her husband abandoned them both many years ago. The work-aholic mom works long hours, misses almost every soccer game, and even has her assistant shopping for the best gift for her son for his Christmas morning. But, she argues, she makes great money and is able to provide for her son and this means the world to her as a single parent. When her son asks her to spend more time with him, she caves and decides to return to her hometown for a family-style Christmas. And of course, while she is there, a childhood flame is re-ignited and she falls in love.
This woman spends the entire movie obsessing over the fact that she has to work harder to get that promotion, that the promotion will bring more money and the possibility for even more money in the future, and finally that she cannot fall in love because the only person she must think about now is her son.
This mom isn’t able to figure out the true meaning of her life until she has this conversation with her son (roughly translated as I’m not as big of a work-a-holic as this lady to actually write down what the characters are saying in case I can use it for one of my blog posts!):
Mom: Well buddy, it looks like we have to go home early.
Son: But mom, it’s Christmas Eve.
Mom: I know, but mommy got that big promotion so we have to drive back now so that I can be there for a special meeting. If we don’t leave now, we won’t make it in time.
Son: I don’t wanna leave.
Mom: Buddy, this promotion means more money.
Son: I don’t want more money. I want more of you.
Ouch! That one had to hurt! It’s only through this conversation with her son that this woman learns that the promotions mean nothing to him. What really means something to him is the fact that his mom is the only mom who doesn’t come to all of the soccer games. While she had made excuses for herself that it was ok to miss the soccer games because she was making enough money to buy him that special video game he wanted, her son had been resenting her absence enough that the special gift didn’t really mean anything.
Now I don’t recommend that parents just up and quit their jobs if their kid complains about not getting to see them as often as they would like, as is typical in a Lifetime movie! Instead, I ask you to learn something from what these Christmas Lifetime movies are trying to teach us:
• Find a way to balance your work, family and friends, so your kids don’t complain that you’re the only parent who doesn’t attend their events
• Place enough emphasis on making money to supply funds for your family, but don’t idolize the job and the money, lest you have nobody to share it with (Scrooge reference?…Maybe!)
• Allow yourself to be happy in something other than work, as long as it doesn’t harm your family, relationships or livelihood
In this movie, I respect the fact that the mom refused to fall in love because she had to think about what was best for her son. She was putting her son’s needs in front of her own, which all parents should. However, putting your child’s needs in front of your own doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything that makes you happy! This woman was refusing to allow herself happiness for fear that this perfect man (obviously, because it’s a Lifetime movie!) might someday leave her and her son. In reality, this perfect man was exactly what she needed, but even more, was exactly what her son was hoping for. If she refused to let either of them be happy now for fear of what could happen in the future, she had doomed them both to a life of unhappiness with this mentality.
Next time you watch a Christmas Lifetime movie—which I highly recommend at this time of year to get your Christmas spirit up and your obsession with work, shopping, cleaning or any other productive task down—pay attention to what the lesson of the movie is. You might just benefit from learning that lesson in your own life before it’s too late.
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