As Labor Day has passed, by now, all children have either already started their school year or will be starting their first day of school today.
For some kids, the starting of school is a joyous event. They have been anticipating the start of school for the last few weeks, were excited to go school shopping for new clothes and supplies, and had everything packed and ready to go the night before school started. For these kids, the transition to school is a simple one.
But for other kids who strongly dislike school, the transition back to the school year is a difficult one. And for kids who dislike school and have a history of school behaviors that make them #1 on the teacher’s most wanted list, the transition back to school can be terrifying—for everyone from the child, to the parents to the school staff who have already come to know what kind of behavior they can expect out of the child for the coming school year.
For these kids, even though you won’t be able to make them love school, there are a few steps that you can take to help make the first few weeks of school a less difficult transition for them—and for you! While their difficult behaviors may require some extra assistance, these simple steps can at least make the transition back to school less stressful for everyone.
Ditch the 20 Questions!
On the first day of school when you head to the school to pick him up, you’re wondering about whether he likes his teacher, if he gets to sit next to a friend who is going to help or hinder his behaviors in the classroom and if he figured out the hot lunch process that he was worried about last night. You’re dying to know the answers to all of these questions and you want to ask him—in an avalanche of questions—exactly how his day went.
While you want to know all of these answers, he’s likely thinking that his brain is about to explode. With all of the instructions he received today about the rules of the classroom, and the art room, and the lunch room and the playground, his head is spinning. With all of that new information, he probably can’t even remember the answers to some of the questions you wanted to ask him.
Instead of asking all of those questions that are making your head want to explode, try ditching the questions and giving your child the opportunity to talk if he wants to or pass out in exhaustion in the backseat, if he so chooses. Try making statements like, “I was thinking about you at lunch time today, hoping that you were able to figure out how to get your hot lunch, since you were so worried about it last night.” Then, just leave it there. If he wants to talk about it, he’ll tell you all about it; but, if he doesn’t want to talk about it, he knows that you cared and were thinking about him and that you don’t have any expectations for him to give you an answer about how it went.
Give Them a Break!
Type A people—like me—love making lists and prioritizing their tasks. Type A students likely have a planner that has all of the homework assignments listed in it and are ready to start their homework to-do list the second they come home.
People who aren’t Type A people are often annoyed by us organized, list-making people because their brains and personalities simply don’t mesh with that organized lifestyle. To-do lists and organized planners don’t energize other people like they do Type A people. Parents who have the Type A personality must remember that their children may not have the same personality and may not be motivated by getting things crossed off the list.
Resist the temptation to assume that your child will be excited about rushing home and getting his homework tasks completed by crossing them off of his list. Instead of pushing homework tasks immediately, allow him to take a 30 minute break to wind down from his day at school. Give him a snack and let him rest of play for a little bit, before you start to tackle the day’s homework.
When the break is almost over, ease him into the idea of starting homework by giving him a 10 minute and 5 minute warning, to ensure that he has the time to finish the activities he was participating in before he has to give them up for a less pleasurable activity like homework.
Plan Ahead!
In this day and age, family life has gotten pretty busy. Parents have to rush kids out the door in the morning to get everyone to daycare, school and work on time. And in the afternoon, there’s hardly enough time for homework, supper and bath time before its bedtime. With the limited amount of time that’s available in the school year, it’s important to plan ahead to make sure that the day’s schedule allows enough time for essential tasks, and some leftover fun and family time.
Make mornings run smoother by helping the kids to lay out their clothes for the next day at bedtime each night. If a sack lunch is needed for the following day, pack the parts that you can the night before and keep it in the refrigerator. Be sure to include the child’s opinion on what’s included in the lunch to avoid any issues at lunchtime the next day.
To ensure an efficient homework process, develop a plan in conjunction with the child’s teacher to ensure that you know what the child is supposed to be working on each night. Loose papers in a backpack aren’t helpful for anyone! Work together with the child’s teacher to create a plan that will help the child stay a little bit organized, like the use of a planner that lists the child’s homework assignments and the supplies he’ll need to bring home, or a folder that has assignments to be done on one side of the folder and already completed assignments on the other side. Even email between the parent and the teacher can help. As long as the plan helps the child to (1) know what assignments need to be done, and (2) know what materials to bring home to complete the assignments, then the plan is sufficient.
To get the homework process started, help the child to get all of the materials organized in one space. If your child has a learning disability or a diagnosis like ADHD, set up the homework environment to help the child thrive. Limit distractions, provide a snack and offer breaks each time a small task is completed.
Keep Kids Well Rested!
Tired kids are cranky kids, and cranky kids don’t function well in school. It’s too late now, since school has already started, but it’s best to transition kids from a summer sleep schedule to a school year sleep schedule during the last few weeks of summer. Preschool-aged children should be getting between 11 and 13.5 hours of sleep each day and/or night and early elementary-school aged children should be receiving about 9.5 to 12.5 hours of sleep each day and/or night (with the midpoint of these numbers being ideal for the “average” child). This should be happening during the summer months as well, but it is especially important during the school years to ensure that the child’s body is well-rested to take in all of the valuable information that comes from preschool and school lessons.
Adjust your family calendar to ensure that the child has adequate time to rest and prepare for the following day. This may require an elimination of some evening activities and turning off electronic devices to help aid in the sleeping process. It may be a difficult transition for some of the older family members, but it’s important to ensure that younger children get the most out of their educational experiences each day.
The first few weeks back at school can be hard on any family who has to adjust to a new morning and afternoon routine. But for kids who dislike school and have a hard time getting school-related tasks completed, the transition from summer to the school year is a tough one. There will be many difficulties for these kids throughout the school year, but the transition to the new school year doesn’t have to be one of them if you take steps from day one to make that transition easier and less stressful.
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