In a world where there are so many ways to access gaming systems, children are often spending a lot of time playing various forms of video games including gaming consoles, at friend’s houses, and/or on cell phones or tablets.

 

For some children and teens, playing video games and spending time with their friends online is the highlight of their day. As a parent, you may wonder about how video games may be impacting your child.

 

Maybe you haven’t had concerns about how video game use impacts your child.

 

Maybe you just have never really understood the culture of video games or why your child wants to play them so much.

 

Maybe you enjoy that your child has something to do when playing video games, and you want to learn more about them to relate to your child.

 

And maybe this world makes no sense to you since—like many parents—you did not grow up with video games or smart phones as part of your daily routine.

 

If any of these maybes are fitting for you, this article is here to help. 

 

In this 3-part series, we will:

• Explore ways to establish healthy video game guidelines that meet the needs of your child and family,
• Discuss the world of online gaming and explore ways to help you to keep your child safe while gaming online, and
• Consider options for establishing a healthy gaming routine for your child

 

Establishing Healthy Video Game Usage

Family video game expectations can range from the family of gamers who plays video games daily to the family with a “no screen time” rule that does not allow video games or other screen time for any reason.

 

There are so many factors that play into what healthy video game usage could look like in your home and because families are so different, expectations for healthy video game usage may look very different.

 

At the current moment in time, children are exposed to video games through family, friends and even through educational apps and required computer programs through their schools, which does make enforcing a “no screen time” rule difficult for today’s families.

 

In addition, since screens are such an integrated part of society and schools, children who live in households without video games may feel isolated, left out and uninformed with friends who are immersed in video game culture.

 

The main ways for parents to encourage healthy video game usage is to be informed about the video games your child is playing, be aware of the need for video game use in moderation and to learn how to talk with your child about their video games and your expectations for their usage.

 

Entertainment Software Rating Board Ratings

There is so much information available on the internet regarding video games, which can be overwhelming to even know where to start to learn more about what is healthy and appropriate for video game exposure and screen time for your child.

 

A great place to start is to learn more about the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB), a rating system available to help you to understand the content of video games your child may have access to.

 

Each game has its own rating that evaluates the age group that is suitable to consume the content of the game. The Entertainment Software Rating Board provides an easy-to-understand Ratings Guide with additional information to help you better understand these why these ratings may be chosen for each individual game.

 

• E = Everyone – Content is generally appropriate for all ages.
• E10 = Everyone 10+ – Content is generally appropriate for those age 10 and older. Content may contain mild violence, mildly inappropriate language, and or/minimal suggestive themes.
• T= Teen – Content is generally appropriate for those 13 and older. Content may have violence, crude humor, some blood, suggestive themes, simulated gambling, and/or strong language.
• M = Mature – Content is generally appropriate for those 17 and older. Content will usually have intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language.
• AO = Adults Only – Content is appropriate for adults 18 and older only. Content contains prolonged scenes of intense violence, graphic sexual content, and/or gambling with real currency.

 

Ratings for video games can be found directly on the video game packaging, to assist you in identifying the game’s appropriateness for your child before purchase. In addition, the video game packaging should also provide descriptions of the rating provided to assist you in understanding the chosen rating for each particular game.

 

If you are currently looking to learn more about games that your child already plays and you are unsure of the location of the video game’s packaging, you can simply search online by typing the name of the game and the word “rating.” Common Sense Media has also created a listing of gaming and app reviews based on topics such as age-appropriateness, violent, sexual or drug-related content, educational value, presence of positive messages and role-models, and presence of foul language. 

 

Video Game Play in Moderation

Another important consideration for parents is to look at ways to allow video gaming in moderation.

 

While some video games can actually provide educational and social value, research on screen time does point to some concerns with its impact on child development, suggesting that children benefit from parents implementing limits based upon the quality of content of the video game, as well as limits to ensure that other age-appropriate experiences have the opportunity to take place, such as physical play and social interaction with parents, siblings and peers.

 

Like many other things in life, video games are best consumed in moderation.  

 

To get an idea of what and how often your child is playing, the best thing to do is to just ask your child about their video gaming habits. The ESRB has provided a Family Discussion Guide to assist you in facilitating this conversation with your child.

 

Another excellent way to know what your child is playing is to play the game with them. If you are unfamiliar with video games, you may benefit from simply sitting with your child and watching as they play or asking your child to show you what they are doing during various points during the game.

 

There are also resources available if you prefer to learn more about the game yourself. How-to and informative guides on various games are available online to assist you in getting a basic summary of the game.

 

You may also select to watch “Let’s Plays” or “Walk Throughs” of your child’s favorite video games on YouTube. These are videos of people playing a specific game online that explain what is happening as the game is being played.

 

Children often refer to these videos to learn how to overcome challenges in the game, so this is an added benefit to you to be able to see these videos to understand their appropriateness in being a source of information for your child. This experience may give you information to assist with setting limits regarding YouTube channels that your child may be able to access.

 

Playing video games with your child allows for you to be able to monitor your child’s experiences and reactions to the game as it is played. Pay attention to the way your child handles frustration in the game, becomes agitated by the game or chats taking place in online gaming, and other signs that a break from the game is needed.

 

Observing your child while they play video games will help you to establish a routine for moderation that is appropriate for your child’s and family’s needs.

 

When establishing a routine for moderation in your household, consider your child’s age, the amount of solo video game play versus sibling, friend or family video game play, as well as the frequency of other activities taking place. If a child’s video game play is the main source of entertainment and/or is used as the sole coping mechanism the child has for experiencing frustrations or setbacks, this means that increasing limits for moderation may be necessary.

 

Setting Expectations for Video Game Use

Understanding what your child is playing is an integral part of keeping your child safe and exposed to only age-appropriate content during video game play. And it may result in limits being set on video game play.

 

Parents may be surprised to find out through the ESRB rating system that games their child is currently playing contain content not suitable for their age. Or they may learn that games that their child has mentioned playing at a friend’s house, that a parent initially found harmless, do not fit with what the parent has deemed appropriate for their child’s age.

 

This means that parents may need to have conversations with their children about expectations with video game play, both at home and at friends’ or family’s houses.

 

Be clear with your child about your video game expectations and explore the topic together to help your child to know exactly what to do when your child is introduced to a game that is not allowed at their house while playing at a friend or family member’s house.

 

For some families, the answer to this question is that the child cannot play the game and must communicate that with their friend or their friend’s parents.

 

For other families, they may have a rule that requires the child to communicate the details of the game with their parents upon returning home, versus not being allowed to play the game at the friend’s house.

 

Help your child to know what your expectations are for handling a situation like this.

 

Be sure to include your child’s thoughts, feelings and reactions into this conversation to assist with the conversation leading to desired outcomes for both of you. If your child feels like they do not have a voice in the matter, they may feel like they have no control over the social consequences of these actions, which can impact their ability to follow through on your recommendations.

 

Next week, in part 2 of this series, we will explore the world of online gaming, including the importance of maintaining safety during online gaming.

 

Rachel Thyberg, CSW-PIP, RPT is a contributor to this article. After working with children and adolescents in play therapy and learning that video games are such an important aspect of the lives of children and adolescents, Rachel sought out additional training on using the language and culture of video games within the play therapy process.

Rachel has utilized these trainings to better understand her clients and to help parents and their children begin to navigate conversations about video game usage in their home.

If you have more questions about how to talk with your children about video game usage or need help navigating this experience, please contact Encompass Mental Health at (605) 275-0009 ext. 1 for more information.