The spooky season is upon us and your little superhero and mummy are ready to go door to door collecting treats in one of their favorite traditions of the year. But do they know how to stay safe during their trick-or-treating adventures?
Follow these tips for a fun AND safe Halloween night!
Talk About Safety
Kids are naturally oblivious to the potential dangers of hundreds of kids roaming the streets, going door to door filled with sugar and excitement. Things like staying out of the street, not going into strangers’ homes and staying within their parents’ eyesight might be things that they understand on a typical day, but everything goes out the window during the excitement of trick-or-treating.
Before you head out for Halloween fun, remind your children about the expectation for safety. Start by validating their desire to have fun before you jump right into rules and safety:
“I know that you are so excited to meet up with your friends and collect a big stash of candy, but you will still need to stay safe when you are out with your friends tonight. Remember that you still need to stay on the sidewalk, be able to see me at all times and stay on the porch, not inside anyone’s house when you are collecting your candy.”
You will not be able to predict all of the mistakes that will be made—and there will be many due to the level of excitement and groups of people that make this neighborhood walk much different than a typical weeknight walk—so just do your best to remind them of the expectations for safety that match your values as a family and the age of your child. For example, toddlers and preschoolers may need to stay within eyesight, where upper elementary-aged children may be given more freedom in some communities to trick-or-treat and check in with parents periodically, or when finished.
Safety Topics for Consideration
- Staying on the sidewalk and off the street,
- Crossing the street with a grownup or identified child who is old enough to navigate this process for them,
- Walking versus running,
- Staying within eyesight,
- Staying outside of strangers’ homes versus going inside,
- Waiting to eat candy until parents have had a chance to inspect it,
- Only going with safe or approved adults or older children.
Talk About “What to Do” not “What Not to Do”
A common mistake that adults make is to create rules that start with a negative, or explaining what not to do. They say things like:
- No running
- No hitting
- No screaming
Sound familiar?
The problem with this, especially for young children, is that it can be difficult to process all of the words in a sentence, so they will often hear the last and most important word (like running, for example) and just go with that. This means that your attempt to stop them from running by creating a “no running” rule may actually encourage running.
In addition to that, how frustrating must it be to be constantly told what not to do? This seems so limiting, versus the option to explain to them the many things that they can do throughout their day with no limitations. Presenting rules in this way helps kids to feel motivated to do the right thing, versus challenged to avoid the wrong thing. If you have a strong-willed or defiant child, this will be even more important.
Instead of creating a list of rules that start with “no” or “what not to do” try stating rules in a way that tells them what they are allowed to do, for example:
- Use walking feet,
- Use talking voices,
- Stay on the sidewalk,
- Stay outside of the houses,
- Keep your candy in your bag until you see me again,
- Cross the street with your brother,
- Say “thank you” when someone gives you candy.
Once again, the rules that you put into place should align with your values and what you hope for your children to learn about ways of being in this world as well as their age and developmental capacity. While these experiences are exciting and some flexibility may be needed for expectations, these are also great opportunities for growth and learning how to engage with the world in the midst of excitement.
Remember to Let Them Have Fun
Halloween safety is very important, yet an overfocus on safety and rules during this exciting holiday can ruin the experience for kids and parents alike. According to Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, overprotective parenting has been on the rise since the 1990s, leading to fewer opportunities for social learning amongst peers and for risk-taking behavior that can lead to life-long lesson learning.
As you consider establishing expectations for your child for this trick-or-treating event, be sure to consider whether the rules you have set are essential for their safety, or established to address your own anxieties about their well-being. A great question to consider is:
“Am I trying to keep my child as safe as possible, or as safe as necessary?”
A rule such as using quiet voices may not be necessary for older children, who may learn more from experiencing the natural consequences that come from screaming within a group of peers and unfamiliar adults than they ever would learn from listening to mom or dad telling them what they’re supposed to do, while a rule for staying out of the street may be essential for safety, as there are no positive learning opportunities that come from this experience if something negative were to occur.
Keep your child’s age and developmental capacity in mind as you create expectations and consider cutting back on rules that might have been established for the purpose of keeping them as safe as possible, instead of as safe as necessary.
Happy Halloween!
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